You Are Not Henry, Nor Will You Ever Be, Ade

F@&*%@ shite. I don't condone use of the f word on my site or there would be a lot of it right there. Any other words are fair game though so how bout this...Adebayor you greedy cunt, piss in your arse off to Barca before someone kicks the shite out of you for being a whining twatbag.

Today Adebayor has taken his newfound cuntiness to a whole new level. Just read this:

"Barcelona have made a good financial offer and there is also the chance to play alongside great players.

"Yes, I am still under contract to Arsenal but it's up to the directors to satisfy my demands or I'll leave.

"People ask if I am asking for the same salary as Henry. That is not necessarily the question.

"But I am being considered a worthy replacement for Henry while not deserving his salary.

"The question lies on this level."

Well where the hell did all THAT come from!? So in response, I have written this letter to Adebayor:

Dear Emmanuel Adebayor,

You had a great season. You scored more goals than anyone else on the team and tied for 2nd most in the league. Great job. I had your back ever since you have been at this club. Not many people were convinced you could be a top striker at this level, but you have proven most of them wrong. When you came from France after scoring almost no goals, not many would have thought you could turn in such a great season. Yes, you might deserve a bit of a pay raise, but is this the way to do it? By saying the directors MUST meet your demands or you'll leave? Saying that you are planning for your retirement? You're 24 and make more money than I will ever make. I'm 21. Maybe I should have all my money (not much) in mutual funds to save for my retirement too. Is 75,000 quid a week or whatever you're asking for really going to make that much of a difference than what you are making now?

But what made me most mad is comparing yourself to Thierry Henry. Don't you ever, EVER, insult what Thierry Henry did for this club by saying you have done what he did. You cannot do, and will not ever be able to do, what Thierry Henry did while he was at Arsenal.

Let's give a quick figure comparison while each of you were at Arsenal:

Thierry Henry: 230 total goals, 82 assists, 5 thirty+ goal seasons, Footballer of the Year three times and PFA Player of the season twice, World Cup Winner France '98, Euro 2000 Winner

Emmanuel Adebayor: 46 goals, 14 assists

Wow you're right Ade, you have accomplished just about as much as Thierry! We'll certainly get right on that doubling of your salary, or did you want it tripled? Either way it will clearly be worth it because you have given us much more than Henry ever could have hoped for. I just hope you can duplicate this success over the coming seven seasons like Thierry did, but it doesn't look that likely since you only scored 20 goals total in three seasons at Monaco.

So I hope your negotiations go well Ade, I for one certainly think you deserve to be the highest paid player in the world.

Most Sincerely,

The ArseNole

PS: Piss off Ade. We don't need this at Arsenal. I hope you go to Barcelona and hope you never score another goal.


So we'll see if he writes back. It was such a sincere and cheerful letter that I'm sure he will. I'll keep you updated. Cheers all!