Arsenal's Problems All Down To Teeth, Bring in Lorik Cana

Morning all. How are things? I'm doing just swell, except the whole not having any money thing is getting a little old. So when you're wondering, "Hmm, I wonder why the ArseNole hasn't posted in 3 days..." it's probably because I'm sitting around trying to think of a way to make money without getting a second job. I tried the lottery, but amazingly I did not win. I think I'm going to branch out into sketch comedy or something else that will be completely hilarious and cause people to throw kajillions of dollars at me, so I can just sit around and write about Arsenal all the time. That's the plan.

So what's new with Arsenal, you ask? Well, not a lot really. Not a lot besides discovering the cause of all of Arsenal's problems! Actually just Robin van Persie's injury problems, but if you figure we have a fully fit RvP for the full season, it could definitely solve some of the problems we have had. His doctors say that the reason he suffers from so many muscle injuries is because of his wisdom teeth.

"I fear I'll be forced to drink porridge through a straw. My osteopaths think there may be a connection between my teeth and the muscle injuries I suffer."

That's a bit odd isn't it? How bad does that suck that you get a couple more teeth in and suddenly you're pulling groins and hamstrings and every other muscle that isn't anywhere near your teeth.

"It could have an influence on the recovery time my body needs after an injury. Three of the four specialists I chose were rejected by the club."

Both of my Grandpa's are dentists, so I wonder if the club would approve either of them for the operation. I know they've done a lot of wisdom teeth in the past so maybe we can get RvP over here to Florida and get that done. If somehow this has been contributing to his muscle injuries and removing the teeth makes him stay more fit, I'll be absolutely amazed and thrilled. We all know what an important player he is when he's fully fit so let's hope he gets this done and it has the effect they say it will for him.

The other news is not really news at all, but Cesc wants Xabi Alonso at Arsenal. Of course we've heard this before, just last summer, but we didn't get him or anyone else for central midfield.

"We need someone in the middle to make competition and make a difference, plus give us a new dimension. I think that is all we need. The rest is perfect. Xabi would be great. He's experienced and can score goals. I'm sure the boss is aware of that fact."

Yes, Xabi is a good passer, he does have experience, and he can score goals. However, he does not kill people. I'd like to have someone in our team that loves killing. Patrick Vieira would not have hesitated to kill someone, and we need that mentality in the team. Lorik Cana is exactly the type of player I'd like to have. He's the captain of Marseille currently and he pretty much smokes chumps and lights up fools all over the field. He's a f***ing animal really and if you don't believe me watch this video. I've watched him in several Marseille matches and I just really like what he does on the field. Who knows if Arsene thinks he's Arsenal material though.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is all I have today. I'd like to say I'll do a podcast soon, but I pretty much can't guarantee anything with how my schedule is lately. Class every day, Karaoke on Tuesday, Poker Wednesday, the Baseball all weekend. It's hectic I tell you. I need to get a sponsor for that thing. Or sell drugs. That would make it way easier.

Alright, I'll get back to you all tomorrow. Subscribe to the website if you haven't already. Follow me on twitter, for the good of your souls. Follow Miley Cyrus too, cuz she is my future baby mama. Hit me up on my Myspace. Or Ole Ole. Or join the forums so we can get those started back up again. Just do all of the above. It will make supporting Arsenal THAT much more fun for all of us.

Arsenal To Sign Two Prospects and End of Year Survey

Good morning all. What did you think of the Champions League Final? If I had to guess I'd say you probably all enjoyed it immensely, getting to watch the red cunts from the north crying and getting crushed by a team that resembles a better version of our team. We tried to play that exact same game that Barcelona played, but there are just a few differences. Denilson is not Andres Iniesta, Theo Walcott is not Leo Messi, and Adebayor is not Samuel Eto'o. So as we get those slight problems worked out, we'll be as good as them! Really though, watching that Barca team is fantastic. Iniesta was man of the match for me. He was pressuring United all over the field and his dribbling and movement was astounding. Of course Messi was scary as shite every time he touched the ball, but that's just a given now. He's amazing. I was really hoping Thierry would score, and I loved when he skinned Rio Ferdinand and Rio ended up on his arse and Thierry got in a shot, but it wasn't to be. At least he finally got the medal he deserves though. I love TH14, and if it couldn't be Arsenal winning the trophy, then I think Barca deserves it more than any other team, for the way they play, the players they have, and the way they have dominated everyone this season.

Right, on to Arsenal then. It appears we're going to have two new signings, but don't get your hopes up because they are both 15 years old. Jamie Edge, from Cheltenham Town, has had a fee agreed on by the two clubs and just has to agree to personal terms. The other player is Martin Angha or FC Zurich. Edge is a midfielder and Angha is a defender. That's pretty much all I know about either of them.

This does tell us a lot more about Arsenal though. We have previously discussed which trophies Wenger prioritizes, but now we know the answer to that undoubtedly is the FA Youth Cup. We won it this year, and now he's restocking the team to make another run at it. No wonder we haven't been making many first team signings, it's because what really matters at the club is whether or not our 16 year olds can win trophies next year. Now I see the project finally coming to fruition, all this time I thought we were trying to get things like the Champions League and the FA Cup, but really it's about holding onto the Youth Cup. Everything is clear to me now. It's also being reported that we're after 16 year old Dutch youngster Luc Castagoines. We're really going to make a run at that trophy next year!

Robin van Persie has been looking to sign a new contract but says that right now there is "nothing to report." He still has 2 years left on his current deal but with the way players can leave on Webster's and Bosman's and all of that you can never have long enough contracts. Hopefully they get this one done pretty soon because we all know what an important player RvP is for Arsenal when he's healthy, which unfortunately is not enough.

And last but certainly not least today is Theo Walcott being called up for the Under-21 Championships this summer. A lot of people seem to be making a fuss about it, saying he will be tired from not having a summer break, but I'm not buying it. He's only 20, it can't be anything but good for him to play more. I hope Theo has a great time and while I'm not from England I'll be rooting for them to do well because of Theo.

That's about it for today. Hopefully there will be more news soon enough, because the last week or so has been dreadful for Arsenal news. Cheers.

I've also made a survey to poll responses from all of you Gooners to reflect back on this season. It's only 10 questions and takes all of 3 minutes, so please leave your input. It will be much appreciated. Thanks. Click Here to take the survey.

RvP Out For Villareal, Adebayor Fiending For Trophies

Morning all. Getting pretty stoked for the Champions League match tomorrow I must say. Unfortunately, they will definitely show the Manchester United match on tv here so I'll be stuck watching it on my computer while I watch the scum on tv.

I watched WrestleMania 25 last night. I have to say that Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels was a great match, classic even, but I was mad that Undertaker won because I think Michaels was better and more entertaining. The tombstone though is a rough move and even though I know it's fake I'd hate to even have to go through a fake one of those.

On to Arsenal though, and we have a lot of players out for the first leg tomorrow in Spain. Robin van Persie is out with his groin injury, while Nasri and Walcott are also nursing injuries. Andrey Arshavin of course, cannot play in the Champions League due to being cup-tied from his time at Zenit. So that multitude of attacking talent we had is very depleted for this one, and I'd guess the lineup will look like this:

Almunia
Sagna-Gallas-Toure-Clichy
Song-Denilson
Walcott-Fabregas-Nasri
Adebayor

So I'm really hoping that Nasri and Walcott are ready to go because I don't know who else we would play in the attacking midfield roles if they are out. We could of course always go back to a 4-5-1 or a 4-4-2 but I think we'll probably stick with what has been working.

Villareal have suffered some blows as well, with Santi Cazorla getting his leg broken and being out for the season, so they aren't at full strength either.

I'm going to say that I think the final score will be 1-0 to the Arsenal. I just have a hunch.

Emmanuel Adebayor says he is hungry for trophies, and I'm pretty sure everyone one of us fans is hungry for them too.

"When I joined this club, I was told by most of my friends and team-mates that I had a great chance of winning something. But for the last three years I have gone on holiday having not won a trophy and with an empty heart. Now it's the time to achieve things. Maybe I want it more than the others, I don't know. We all have a desire to achieve things and that's the most important thing."

If you go by the effort showed in Saturday's match, then I'm going to say that Ade is backing up his words with action, which is what you always want to see. If the players can give their all every match for the full 90 minutes, we can beat any team we come up against.

Is there a Gooner out there that doesn't have a special feeling about the Champions League this year? I think we all feel like this is our year to win it all, and with all the players wanting to win as badly as we want them to, I think maybe we can do it. It'd be one of the greatest days of my life and certainly one of the greatest days in the history of Arsenal.

I don't have much else to write as there is very little in the way of news today. Looking forward to the match tomorrow. Make sure you follow me on twitter so we can chat during the match. Cheers all and Come on you Gunners!

Serious Questions Must Be Asked About Arsene Wenger

That title for a post will piss off a bunch of "fans" who think they are better than everyone else, but I don't care. After another ridiculous draw at home against West Ham yesterday, I'm sick of the "In Wenger We Trust" bollocks. Yeah I think he's a good manager and we all know he's accomplished great things for the club but at some point he has to be told that he is wrong and things have to change. This is one of those times. His youth experiment or whatever you want to call it has led to no trophies in what will probably be four years and no titles since 2004.

The current squad that he chooses to put out there is not good enough, yet he refuses to strengthen. When we lost Diarra, we said, "Ok, well we still have Flamini and Gilberto." But when Gilberto and Flamini left, who did we bring in then? Nobody. Despite the fact that every Gooner from California to Russia knew we needed to bring someone in, Wenger bought nobody.

Cesc Fabregas is by far our most influential player, but did Arsene really think that it was impossible for Fab to ever get hurt? Why was there nobody who can at least fill in that role adequately enough? Diaby does not even come close to what Cesc can do, and while Nasri is good at creating, his moving into the middle leaves us short on the wing.

Emmanuel Eboue has never been good enough to play on the wing for Arsenal, or any Premier League club for that matter, yet there is a new contract in the works for him. Playing Denilson and Nicklas Bendtner out on the wings is just ridiculous for a team with title aspirations, because those aren't the players natural positions! Yet Theo Walcott goes down and we're running midfields of Denilson, Diaby, Song and Nasri. Yeah that looks like a team that can compete with the other top clubs...

What really got me questioning though was the fact that Robin van Persie started on the bench yesterday. He's been our best player (indeed one of our only good players) since Cesc went out, and yet the manager leaves him on the bench to start Adebayor (who has been absolute shite) and Bendtner, who clearly have never worked well together and even Stevie fucking Wonder could see that. He said the reason he left van Persie on the bench to start was because he didn't want to risk an injury. That's the most ridiculous reason I've ever heard. You don't not play your best player just so he DOESN'T get hurt, you assume that he will make it through the game healthy and will make plays for you. I have an apple in my fruit bowl but I won't eat it because it might turn into a core. I don't want to get a job because I might get fired from it one day. I don't want to get married because my wife might divorce me. Do those sound stupid and ridiculous to you? Because that is basically Wenger's reason for sitting RvP.

We've only scored four Premiership goals since we played United way back when, so you can see why Wenger is after Andrey Arshavin. Yet Wenger is nonchalant about it, saying he doesn't care either way.

"Nothing is happening - maybe, maybe not. It doesn't worry me either way."

It really should worry you Arsene, because you've had all of January to try to fix at least SOME part of this squad that's got us in 5th place and can't defend and has forgotten how to score. I'm not asking for big money signings. Bakary Sagna wasn't expensive yet he is a key player for us. Why can't we find some more signings like that to come in and strengthen the squad a bit? The reason is because Arsene Wenger doesn't ever want to be told that he was wrong.

I've been very very faithful throughout this youth movement for Arsene, but my patience is wearing thin. Draws against Everton away are acceptable, but draws against West Ham at home are not, especially when we could have brought in better players before now.

A lot of you will disagree and call me a cunt, but guess what, you can piss off and get hit by a bus. Wanting to win trophies does not make you a fake fan. I think Wenger deserves time to fix this because of all that he has done for Arsenal, but I don't think his position at the club should be there regardless of results. If he remains stubborn, if this Arshavin deal doesn't get done, and we miss the Champions League and go another year trophyless, then I think his time at Arsenal may be nearing it's end.

Leave your thoughts, although if they are not at least somewhat thought provoking I'll just delete them. Cheers.