International Break Gives Us Time To Get Healthy

Yeah I probably just jinxed the team, because since I said that they'll probably all get injuries playing for their international teams. So if Fabregas, Sagna, Gallas, Song, Theo, and Arshy all come back with injuries, you know where you can point the blame. Right here. But really, think about it. After this break is over, we'll probably have Nasri back, hopefully Theo will be fit enough to go the full 90 minutes, and while Denilson is going to take longer to recover, it's at least 2 weeks worth of matches that he won't miss, if that makes any sense, which it probably doesn't.

Apparently there are some big football nations that could miss out on the World Cup, which I think is fantastic. Why? Because it makes it somewhat easier (hopefully) for the US to get out of the group stage. I think it'd be quite nice if we didn't have to play France or Portugal. Honestly though I like France because they always have so many Arsenal players, so I do hope they make it. Portugal can choke on dog shite and die though.

I've been rocking out to the Miley Cyrus song "Party in the USA" for like an hour. Yeah, I'm a 22 year old male listening to Miley Cyrus, so what? I'm a fan. You should like her too. Plus she's ballin rich and if it doesn't work out with me and Carlota Fabregas then I'll most likely go for Miley. Tell me you don't think she's hot and you'd be lying.

So after the international break our next five league matches are home to Birmingham, away to West Ham, home to Sp*rs, away to Wolves, and away to Sunderland. You'd like to think that Birmingham and Wolves would be three points pretty easily. If it doesn't work out that way you have to look at that as a disappointment. Sunderland and West Ham aren't nearly as good of a team as we are, but they are tricky teams to play on the road. You'd like to think we'd get six points from those as well, but I think I'd be happy enough with four.

The key match though is the one at home to the scum. Obviously Sp*rs are shit cunts and they almost never beat us. However, this year they are making an attempt to be less shit than they normally are and are currently ahead of us in the table, which makes this match really f'ing important. We also have a game in hand on the top three teams in the table right now, so if we won that we'd be in third right now. But about the Sp*rs match again, it's one that we have to win. A draw is not acceptable, and a loss should simply be out of the question. If we beat them, they turn right back into pretenders who aren't going to ever get near the top four. If they get a good result at the Emirates though, and we have to go to the shithole later in the year, they're going to get a real confidence boost and have the belief that they can hang in the top four. The best way of making sure we win would be if Robbie Keane and Jermain Defoe were hit by busses, meteors, or a turtle-eating-pigeon before the match. So if you drive a bus, you know what to do. We'll all thank you later.

In other news, Mikael Silvestre says the best is yet to come from him. I suppose it's easy for him to say that since he's never been very good anyway. Also, Sol Campbell could start training with Arsenal to keep up his fitness while he has no club. I say he shouldn't be allowed to. Don't go sign with Notts County saying you "embrace their ambtion" and quit after one game. Sol's a looney.

"It will be great to train here and get fit. I've spoken to Arsene, hopefully we can get everything right and speak to the right people and get a couple of the physios and fitness guys to help me and train. My overall fitness is OK. But something else might happen before then."

That last part is him saying that he hopes Arsene will sign him. That's not going to happen. We have Djourou and Senderos who are both better than him and still can't get in the team. Sorry Sol, every since you left at halftime of that match a couple of years ago you lost all credibility among most Arsenal supporters. Piss off please.

On to other business besides Arsenal now.

If anyone knows about computers, this one is for you. My monitor shows everything giant now, and cuts off like half of what should be on the screen. I tried adjusting the display settings and resolution, but it hasn't fixed anything. I don't want to wait on the phone for hours with customer service if I don't have to, so if you know how to fix this then please get at me.

So I've been out of work for about three weeks now since baseball season ended (at least in the minor leagues.) If anyone knows of any job availability for someone with no real skills, hasn't gotten their college degree yet, and doesn't want to work long hours, then please let me know.

That's about all I've got for the day. Leave comments on any of this stuff and I promise I'll write back unless you are an absolute cunt. Peace!

Arsenal's Problems All Down To Teeth, Bring in Lorik Cana

Morning all. How are things? I'm doing just swell, except the whole not having any money thing is getting a little old. So when you're wondering, "Hmm, I wonder why the ArseNole hasn't posted in 3 days..." it's probably because I'm sitting around trying to think of a way to make money without getting a second job. I tried the lottery, but amazingly I did not win. I think I'm going to branch out into sketch comedy or something else that will be completely hilarious and cause people to throw kajillions of dollars at me, so I can just sit around and write about Arsenal all the time. That's the plan.

So what's new with Arsenal, you ask? Well, not a lot really. Not a lot besides discovering the cause of all of Arsenal's problems! Actually just Robin van Persie's injury problems, but if you figure we have a fully fit RvP for the full season, it could definitely solve some of the problems we have had. His doctors say that the reason he suffers from so many muscle injuries is because of his wisdom teeth.

"I fear I'll be forced to drink porridge through a straw. My osteopaths think there may be a connection between my teeth and the muscle injuries I suffer."

That's a bit odd isn't it? How bad does that suck that you get a couple more teeth in and suddenly you're pulling groins and hamstrings and every other muscle that isn't anywhere near your teeth.

"It could have an influence on the recovery time my body needs after an injury. Three of the four specialists I chose were rejected by the club."

Both of my Grandpa's are dentists, so I wonder if the club would approve either of them for the operation. I know they've done a lot of wisdom teeth in the past so maybe we can get RvP over here to Florida and get that done. If somehow this has been contributing to his muscle injuries and removing the teeth makes him stay more fit, I'll be absolutely amazed and thrilled. We all know what an important player he is when he's fully fit so let's hope he gets this done and it has the effect they say it will for him.

The other news is not really news at all, but Cesc wants Xabi Alonso at Arsenal. Of course we've heard this before, just last summer, but we didn't get him or anyone else for central midfield.

"We need someone in the middle to make competition and make a difference, plus give us a new dimension. I think that is all we need. The rest is perfect. Xabi would be great. He's experienced and can score goals. I'm sure the boss is aware of that fact."

Yes, Xabi is a good passer, he does have experience, and he can score goals. However, he does not kill people. I'd like to have someone in our team that loves killing. Patrick Vieira would not have hesitated to kill someone, and we need that mentality in the team. Lorik Cana is exactly the type of player I'd like to have. He's the captain of Marseille currently and he pretty much smokes chumps and lights up fools all over the field. He's a f***ing animal really and if you don't believe me watch this video. I've watched him in several Marseille matches and I just really like what he does on the field. Who knows if Arsene thinks he's Arsenal material though.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is all I have today. I'd like to say I'll do a podcast soon, but I pretty much can't guarantee anything with how my schedule is lately. Class every day, Karaoke on Tuesday, Poker Wednesday, the Baseball all weekend. It's hectic I tell you. I need to get a sponsor for that thing. Or sell drugs. That would make it way easier.

Alright, I'll get back to you all tomorrow. Subscribe to the website if you haven't already. Follow me on twitter, for the good of your souls. Follow Miley Cyrus too, cuz she is my future baby mama. Hit me up on my Myspace. Or Ole Ole. Or join the forums so we can get those started back up again. Just do all of the above. It will make supporting Arsenal THAT much more fun for all of us.