Cescual Chocolate, Barcelona are Cunts (Still)

Hello there everyone. A fine Monday to you all. Hope everyone had a good weekend even though there was no Arsenal. Mine was pretty good. My Under-9 boys team got their first win of the season in our third match of the year. We won 6-1 after losing 8-0 and 7-0 in our first two matches. So it was a big victory for us and we'll be looking to keep that run going.

I didn't really watch any of the internationals this weekend. Why? Because the USA match wasn't on tv and I was watching American football most of the weekend honestly. International Qualifiers interest me about as much as Cesc to Barcelona stories, which is not at all really. But seeing as there isn't shite to write about at all besides Cesc to Barcelona stories, that's what I'll be writing about today.

In a week where Cesc had to leave the Spain squad to be with his seriously ill grandfather, Barcelona thought it would be a prime opportunity to reiterate their desire to sign Fabregas in January. Stay classy, eh Barca? Check out these quotes from the cunt Txiki Begiristain:

"He's a player who fits the Barca profile. He was born suckling on football here and one day he will end up playing at the Camp Nou. I am sure."

What in the hell does that mean? I don't want to picture Cesc suckling on anything, much less Barcelona football. I'd think he could do a bit better than that honestly. I have some advice for Txiki, laid out in a few steps.

1. Get a real name. I cannot pronounce Txiki, nor have I ever met anyone else who would name their son that.

2. Stop talking about Cesc Fabregas. He's said at least one hundred billion times that he's happy at Arsenal. If he does go to Barcelona one day, then it will be when he and Arsene both decide that it's that time, and when it is you'll fork over about a kajillion dollars to us for him. So until then, just leave him alone.

3. When someone's grandfather is really sick, sick enough that you have to leave your team to go be with him, it's probably not the best time to talk about a transfer bid for him. It makes you look like the piece of shit that we all know you are.

4. Next time you think about opening your mouth, shoot yourself in the leg instead. That will probably make you reconsider, because I'd imagine that would really hurt.

Follow those steps and life will be better for all of us. I promise.

In other news, Senderos, Fabregas, Gallas, Vela and Gibbs all scored for their countries this past weekend, and the injury front isn't looking too bad either. Theo Walcott suffered a dead leg but hopefully he'll be back soon enough. Also, Alex Song's Cameroon beat Togo 3-0 so they only need one win to reach the World Cup and Adebayor's team lost which makes it even better. So a good weekend for the Gunners on the whole.

I haven't heard any more news about Samir Nasri's recovery, but hopefully he'll be back before the Sp*rs match at the end of the month.

That's about all I've got for the day, so I'll talk to you tomorrow or Wednesday. Thank God the international break is almost over. Cheers.

Arsenal-Red Cunts From the North Preview

That's right bitches, I have a new computer and I'm back just in time for the most important match of the season, and possibly of my life. As some of you may know, my brother is a United supporter (only to spite me, I might add) so sitting in the same room with him watching this match is going to be difficult. Personally I don't see how someone could possibly cheer for fat scousers and diving, cheating Portuguese while players such as Cesc Fabregas are on the same pitch, but that's for him to decide. Like I said though, it is by far the most important match of our season to date, and a good result is of the upmost importance. It doesn't have to be a win, but an away goal is so crucial in these ties and we certainly need at least one facing a team like United.

Injury news sees Robin van Persie, William Gallas, and Gael Clichy all ruled out, and Silvestre and Gibbs both have fitness tests this morning. Hopefully they'll both make it through those fine, because we need all the defensive help we can get. Assuming they pass, I think the lineup will look like this:

Almunia
Sagna-Toure-Djourou-Gibbs
Walcott-Denilson-Song-Nasri
Fabregas
Adebayor

Hopefully Wenger doesn't do like he did in the FA Cup against Chelsea and throw Diaby out there, because I've come to the opinion that he's pretty much useless. How nice would it be to have Arshavin in the Champions League? Sure wish we had bought him in the summer.

I was nervous before we played Chelsea in the FA Cup. I was nervous playing Villareal. Oddly though, the nerves have not set in for the match today. Is it confidence? I'm not sure. I definitely think we have the ability to win, certainly. I think what it really is though is I'm trying to enjoy the moment. If we win it'll be one of the best moment of my Arsenal-supporting life. If we lose though, there's still hope with the return leg.

I am going to be wearing my Cesc Fabregas away kit, the current year's of course. I find it is more important to be wearing the correct home/away kit than any of my other superstitions, although I will of course be going through my entire library of Arsenal songs (over a hundred) on my iTunes. My brother doesn't have any United songs, so he just walks around saying how they are European Champions and some other shite like that. Cunt.

I think the key to this match is in the midfield. We've seen how our controlling the midfield wins and loses us matches this year. When we can hold the ball and get some decent service to Adebayor, we generally do well. When we can't get the ball and don't have any good service to him, we usually don't get any goals at all. So Denilson and Song will be the key. How they match up with Carrick/Anderson/Scholes/Giggs/some other cunts will determine the way this tie goes. I think that United are going to get goals, they usually do, but it's how we respond to those goals. I don't think this is the time to sit back and try to defend. We need to be at our attacking best, and get that crucial away goal.

I watched the Chelsea/Barca match yesterday, and Chelsea really put on a clinic of how to shut down an attacking team. But even though they held Barca to no goals, they didn't score any either, and I think that will be their downfall. When they have to open it up and try to score at home, they're going to give Barca space as well, and that is never good. That's why I don't want us to play like Chelsea. While it shackled the other team well, it doesn't give them any real advantage going home. I'd rather lose 2-1 today than go home 0-0.

Alright, it's 3 1/2 hours until match time. Time to start the Arsenal playlist. I think all of you should as well. Let's give these northern cunts a beating. Come on you Gunners!